NXD
by Son of the morning
Summary: Little one-shot(s) of an "Old" Naruto that hasn't lost his will to live. Nor has he lost his power. Just a little bit of randomness.
1. Nonchalantly

Got annoyed that most of the Naruto DxD crossovers had a weak Naruto or a Naruto that lost the will to use his power. This one isn't like that. Not sure if I'll continue, idea came to me (of course) while I was pretty drunk. Good times.

* * *

"You realize we're going the wrong way?"

"Nope. I'm pretty sure this is the right way. See? Everything is in Japanese."

"No no no no. The fact that everything is in Japanese clearly means we're NOT in North America."

"You're pretty far out of the loop old man, there's a big movement of Japanese culture in America! Otakus are the new "in" thing boyo!"

"It's not this big! Also, I'm not that much older than you Naruto. 50 or so years isn't that big a deal."

"Good lord, how was Hashi ever friends with you if you bitched this much?! Jeez, Sasuke definitely inherited your genes." Naruto replied. Madara sighed. Back in his day, damn… maybe he really was old, nobody would have dared talk to him that way. He really missed those days.

An explosion.

"Got the coin?" asked Naruto.

"Wasn't I supposed to bring the sandwiches?" replied Madara. Naruto sighed as he pulled out a bag of sandwiches from behind his back. There was a nervous chuckle as Madara did the same.

"There goes the last of our mesopotamian currency. It's your turn to make the money. Sucks to be you, it's the digital age."

"Well what happened to the euros that you got from trading in the last batch of coins?"

"That children's orphanage in Lithuania. They needed it more than we did." Madara cracked a grin.

"Least we're shinobi. Shouldn't be too hard to make money, computer or otherwise. Thank Buddha for online classes." Naruto just shook his head.

"You and your online classes. I don't know how you can stand them. Can't find the motivation without any people around. Come to think of it, I can barely find the motivation even WITH people around."

"That's because you have a preposterously hot wife that normally keeps you occupied. What did you do this time anyway?"

"Eh, Time is a cruel mistress."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yeah man." Cue the light spear. "What the fuck?" They looked up to find a fallen angel hovering over the city with five pairs of wings. Truth be told, he was an ugly motherfucker.

"I don't know who you are, but you've made your last unfortunate mistake." remarked the fallen angel. Further inspection of the area resulted in spotting a group of teenage devils huddled together looking at them in horror.

"OK, I'm walking into this kind of cold," started Naruto as he tried to make head or tails of the situation, "but I'm going to guess that you" he pointed at the angel, "are the bad guy?"

Kokabiel laughed.

"The bad guy? This pathetic group in front of you are all devils. The scum race of the universe. They prey on your kind and go against everything God himself stood for. I certainly don't claim to be any better, but after I wipe them off the face of the planet, a war will begin that will prove the supremacy of the angels!"

Madara sighed. He couldn't believe that he was a monologuing baddie once upon a time ago.

"OK. Baddie you are." Naruto snapped his fingers. At first nothing happened, and he was stared at incredulously. A moment later and all five sets of wings ripped themselves off of the angel. He didn't even have time to scream as Naruto appeared before him and crushed his throat.

"Cool." He turned to the group of children. "Peace out."


	2. Better Things to Do

Because I'm so drunk I got sent home early by my friends and colleagues. Good friends that lot.

* * *

"Wait seriously?"

"Yea man. Justice and Time."

"At the risk of making a pun and staining my good name," began Madara, "at the same time?"

Naruto just nodded. Madara whistled.

"That's damn impressive." A cough interrupted their banter.

"Excuse me gentleman. If you don't mind, we'd like to ask you some questions." Asked a black haired youth. He was surrounded by a group of fellow young ones. To be honest neither immortal could care less.

"Are we to understand that you were the ones to take out the fallen angel a few weeks ago?" continued the annoying one. Madara tsked.

"No. Now shoo. He," pointing to Naruto, "was about to give me some juicy details about his epic and amazing love life."

"I'm sorry," chuckled the one who was most likely about to die, "but I do believe you don't know who you're talking too. If I may-" He was cut off by the sudden hand at his throat.

"You may not." Without thinking twice, the "gang" the the youth ran with moved to intercept Madara, but suddenly and inexplicably found all of their legs and arms broken. "Because you are all humans, I'm giving you this one chance to leave. Waste it and I honestly couldn't care less." He tossed the black haired kid, who looked to be contemplating some form of revenge before choosing to run. Borrowing a sword from his compatriot, who pulled it out of nowhere, he opened a hole in space-time.

"You'll regret this." He quipped. Madara sighed and the hole closed… before the group could go through. Black hair (soon to be cripple) stammered and slashed at the air again. This time it was funny. Well, to the two immortals anyway.

"Seriously man, he was gonna let you go, why'd you go and do that?" asked Naruto who was content to stay in the back quietly enjoying the beatdown of the younger generation. Honestly, kids these days.

"I should kill you, but I won't. You remind me a bit of this one chinese guy I met a long time ago."

"You racist!" shouted Naruto from the back.

"Shut up! That's not what I meant! Damnit, there goes my badass moment." He tore off black hair now-a-cripple's arm and cauterized the wound with a quick pass of his palm. "Bye bye." A portal swallowed them up.

"Now back to that threesome." he said, turning to Naruto while they both giggled. They continued to giggle until they both tripped on a tree root.

"Shit." exclaimed Naruto on the way down to the party between their faces and the ground. "Sorry dear."

* * *

Til' the next time.


End file.
